A little over a year ago I bought a puppy. His breed is mostly German Shepard, and part wolf. Which I know which most would think, “you’re insane, he’s going to be massive.” Well when he’s about 5 pounds, my reaction was, “Ay, that face though, how big could he get?” And also, “Fuck you it’s not your dog anyway don’t worry about it.” Around the same time, coincidentally I heard the news of a new neighbor moving in next door. I have not spoken to this man let alone have seen him, and he has not seen me. I’m not sure he even knows a monster named Brutus lives in my house. He just knows something else besides me lives here. So when I let my dog outside yelling things like, “We do not eat couches in this house!” “That was my god damn sandwich!” And, “I can’t close any of the doors because you’ve torn off all the handles!” He can only wonder what exactly I have in my house. Am I batshit crazy? Maybe. Are those my kids? Could be. But you didn’t take the time to stop by and introduce yourself, so now you can sit on your porch in wonder while I see your silhouette as I scream random phrases then go back into the house. And don’t get me wrong, I love my dog, more then people clearly. But I also enjoy someone that lives mere feet from me just never having a clue what is going on.